So it begins

​Today I had a awesome...like really and truly fantastic massage.  I had knots in places I didn't know could be tight - under my shoulder blades, in my lower legs...so strange.  There I was,  face down on this table wondering how many massages I'll have before my surgery.  How many more therapists will touch my body in it's current state?  I don't care tremendously, but it's something you think about when you weigh as much as I do.

Jeff and I attended the 2 hour long informational meeting at the Bariatric Clinc this afternoon.  We walked in almost late, certainly the last people to arrive.  I try not to size up the rest of the room because really, who cares.  But sizing up a room is not a habit you lose when you walk through the front doors of the clinic. 

My husband sat and listened to all the scary shit they threw at us.  Concentrated on the risk factors and didn't bat an eyelash when the insurance expert spoke.  As soon as we were there he started functioning in the "she's doing this" mode.  A mode he hasn't ever fully embraced.  He whispered "we can set money aside in our HSA for next year just like we did for Riley's braces"......absolutely music to my ears!  I have his support, we agree on the type of surgery is best (Sleeve Gastrectomy) and I can start the process NOW.

I'm making an appointment with their Psychiatrist and then I can schedule an appointment with the surgeon to meet and get this ball rolling.

I'm a bit of an oversharer...so keeping this sort of quiet on Social Media will be difficult.  I am not hiding it however.  That's why I'm blogging this shit.  Am I scared?  Yes.  Am I excited?  Yes. 

I want to live MY life by my rules.  I love this package even if it does hold me back.  This is not an "I hate myself, I'm so fat" thing.  I'm a sexy bitch and I want to hike mountains!